The Best is . . . .


10.) Doner Kebab

Pronounced – der-ner kebab.



9.) Loser

At Stuba Glacier while taking a timeout for lunch we sat next to a young Austrian couple. Our conversation started out the same way it always did with all the Austrians, “Aaahhh Caaallllifornia!” upon finding out our place of origin which then triggered the always present, “Arnold Schwarznegger is from here. You know Schwarznegger?” We did the usual smile laugh nod & replied “yah yah.” After a while of sharing our lunch at the same table Joel came back with a coffee mug & then the Austrian man asked him, “you like. Wine good, no?” At the lodges there they serve warm red wine which personally as an alcoholic sounded amazing while snowboarding & it seems that all the Austrian shared my sentiment on the subject. Joel replied back, “ oh . . . uh no just coffee. . . uh not wine.” Without missing a beat he responded back to Joel with the perfect Austrian Arnold like rebuttal “Loser!”

Alby

8.) German AA meeting

So spending our first full night in Salzburg we decided to get the lay of the land & later on in the evening go to a meeting. It sounded like a perfect intro meet some Salzburgian or fellow traveling drunks. We went to an internet café to find out where & when a meeting went down in this city. We first found out that there were no English speaking meetings but we decided to go to the German speaking anyway just to check it out. Being new to town we asked the girl who was working there where the address was & how to get there. She looked up the address for us, looked at us, looked at the screen, looked back up again & responded with, “Ahh . . . no . . . this says it’s a psychiatric ward?” Troy not missing a beat & semi giggling, “Yup that sounds about right!” She then stared back in shock.

So after Troy drove our monstrous van in the fucking bike lane to get to the meeting on time we finally made it there. Walking into the meeting there definitely was a natural sense of being out of place at first. There were four older men, a man in his 30’s, & two women. They stared at us as we sat down knowing that we weren’t from there or maybe that we were possibly newcomers. They greeted us in German & eventually realized that we were Americans. They were definitely confused why we were sitting in a German speaking AA meeting. There was one older gentleman who offered himself as the translator. They tried to tell us that AA started in America in which I responded just to make sure that they understood that we new the deal, “yeah. . .Ohio, 1935.” I’m pretty sure all this did was make me feel stupid.

After this confusion was over the meeting moved forward & has to be one of the oddest AA experiences I’ve had. One of the women was obviously a newcomer & the meeting format seemed to be, “everybody in the meeting convince her that she should stop drinking or else format.” It went down like this, one of the older gentlemen would speak to her, she would rebut, then he would ask someone else to speak, then he would speak to her again, she would rebut, . .etc. Eventually the meeting asked us to speak & we did. After that we started noticing that the dialogue changed a little. Everybody in the meeting started speaking like this, “something German something German something German . . .AMERICANS! . . .something German something German.” God know what they were saying but we all imagined to be, “look the Americans are sober & they are young like you.” This would explain the contempt I felt beaming off her towards us. Eventually people just started leaving but the meeting continued on, I almost fell asleep, I’m pretty sure that it was a 2+ hour meeting in German & we didn’t understand shit. Very weird.


Alby

7.) The van - Part 1

So we fly in to Salzburg. We go directly to the rental car spot to deal with all the shit you have to go through to rent a car. They pull up our rental car & it’s not a car. It’s a giant fucking construction van. Seriously we were traveling like a Japanese tourist bus throughout Europe in this damn thing. It was a white 5 speed manual that carried a total of 9-10 passengers comfortably. It also came complete with a big bright traffic construction vest which it turns out came in handy throughout our travels. Bare in mind also that Troy, our all time driver, didn’t seem to realize that this was a huge van because he drove speeding everywhere & weaving in & out of traffic throughout the entire Austrian / Italian experience.

Now if you’ve ever driven in Italy or Austria the streets are fucking small dude. There aren’t big giant trucks or SUV’s everywhere. Tiny little smart cars are more present than anything else. Needless to say this damn thing fucking stuck out everywhere.

We went to this world famous ski jump which name escapes me designed by prominent architect whose name also escapes me. It turns out that there was a construction crew setting up for a snowboard big air competition. Troy drove our giant van up a wrong direction & we came upon an Irish construction worker who thought we were part of the working crew because of our bright ass construction vest on the dashboard. Troy not thinking anything of it asked, “where do we park?” He responded, “Back her up, get some speed!” & pointed at a steep driveway leading onto the actual stadium. We got out checked out the jump which was amazing & looked down into the stadium. The most prominent thing in the stadium bowl was, of course, the van. The son of bitch was huge even from on top of the tower. We came down & the Irish guy is pissed the fuck off, yelling at Joel & Dave to move the van & get out of here. He basically thought we were part of the construction crew & we definitely milked it unknowingly. From that point on we used the van for all it was worth & disguised ourselves as a construction crew whenever appropriate. Driving in a pedestrian zone? Construction vest! Driving down a one way the wrong way? Put on the construction vest. Parking in the obvious wrong section to go shopping? Put the vest on the dashboard . . .& it worked everywhere. But it also started a string of odd bus sightings in well known Italian locations. More to follow. . .

6.) Following a van of Italian skiers

After hungering for snowboarding & trying to find an open resort we saw a giant group of Italian skier jump into a bus. We visited every resort near here & they obviously new something we didn’t. We waited for them to pile in & leave. Then we followed. I personally felt like a stalker or crack head trying to get a hit. Once the bus drove the skiers to their hotels & resorts we felt like defeated dirtbags.

Alby


5.) “Is that the van?” Part 2

Verona. Carnival. We unknowingly parked the van right next to the Carnival Parade route. When walking back to the Van Mike asked……

Joel

4.) Troy’s amazingly offensive driving skills or as Joel regularly stated, “Troy um I’m just wondering what you’re doing right now?”

If you know Troy, you know how he drives. Rarely is he a passenger, and to say he is aggressive, is an understatement. At first it was some what amusing, Troy was weaving in and out of the small Euro cars with a mammoth 9 passenger van. Eventually sitting in the front seat started to potentially feel like a contact sport. We all felt comfortable with Troy’s skills with in city limits, but as soon as we entered Autostrade, Troy’s aggressiveness made everyone feel uncomfortable. Mike rarely said anything, because he knew I would always say something. I would start to ask Troy what he was doing when he would creep up on a small Euro car going 140 km/hr, get right on his ass (like the van is going to draft behind a small Fiat).

Joel


3.) I’ve already fucking gone that way

Verona. Carnival. The city is completely surrounded by the Carnival parade, and we were trying to leave town and get to Florence. Verona has very narrow streets, and we were basically stuck weaving in and out of pedestrians to escape. After many u-turns and wrong turns Troy finally snapped. We eventually busted through the parade, and made it to Florence.

Joel

Hold up a minute, this needs to be said, as Troy was driving & Joel was navigating, I was sitting in the back observing waiting to jump in at any moment with directions on my iPhone. Actually, what I was really doing was reading & not paying attention at all. Then I realized that we’ve been driving around Verona city center for a bit here. Holy shit we can’t get out & Carnival is trapping us in the city. This is about to get fucking funny! So I put down the book at the perfect time because just at that moment Troy & Joel were super heated. It didn’t seem like they were gonna come to blows but they definitely were frustrated enough to amuse me for a moment & smirk in observation. “Dude! DUDE! You need to go that way to the right” says Joel waiving the map furiously while pointing at our destination. The small streets & intense amount of people pointing at us stupid Americans added a level of frustration that allowed me to enjoy the moment that much more. Troy returns with, “I’ve already FUCKING gone that way! Where else I’m suppose to go?” There was more said but I’ll leave it there. I’m pretty sure the intensity of Joel & Troy’s frustration is so apparent that the actual citizens of Verona flag us down & waive us into the proper direction. Actually, it was probably that in combination with the fact that we were driving around there small city of antiquity in a giant construction van aimlessly during a time when no one drives or does anything but celebrate. Eventually, we see an opening in the parade & make a break for it nearly hitting Veronians but none the less escaping the city that ensnared us.

Alby

2.) The best thing is . . .

When you travel with people it’s always interesting to view another side of people. Hopefully, it’s for the better regardless of personal quarks that pop up upon your journey. More commonly I have heard, & have experienced, the other side of the coin which can be get quite frustrating. Actually, it’s a nightmare when your travel partner, or partners, are just extremely difficult to deal with. I am happy to report, at least in my opinion, that our individual personalities & quarks never provided an outright difficult traveling experience. If anything I think it made it better. In years to come I’ll definitely remember a lot about this trip. I think the things I’ll remember most are the differences between us, basically, those personality quarks. Joel taking most everything in grace throughout the trip even though there were plenty of things to be unstoked about causing us to mellow out on the issues that lay ahead. Then Joel would have to physically control himself & bottle up frustrations while sitting adjacent to Troy while touring through Italy. Dave & the way in which he just slowly went about everything at every site we saw taking his sweet time causing us to slow down & actually take in what was around us. Troy & the way in which he was always 2-5 steps ahead planning the next move causing him to lose track sometimes of what was in the now but then taking time to laugh at himself, be present, & thus making the trip light hearted. As for me, I don’t know, you’ll probably have to ask them. I guess it would probably be how they thought I was winner of the funky underwear award*.

I think one of things that I’ll remember most though is “The best thing is. . .”

Towards the latter part of our trip after spending an intense amount of time with everybody, I noticed that Troy through his own little language lexicon starts out the majority of his sentences with “You know what the best is. .” or “The best was . .” or “The best thing is. .” about 70% of the time. It happens a lot. . . . more often than not.

Right about the time I noticed this, I was standing outside an autogrille gas station smoking a cigarette, I looked over at Joel & said, “Do you ever notice that Troy always starts out his sentence with. . .” Joel stopped me in my tracks quite quickly & said, “Oh yeah! Constantly!” We both looked at each other smirked & then right at that moment Troy walked up & asked, “what are you guys talking about?” We both shrugged. He looked at us suspiciously but went about with the conversation on his mind & through out with incredible perfection, “You know the best is. . .”

Alby


*Just for clarification that is funky as in colored American Apparel undies funky not funky as in stank ass funky. I am a very clean man.

1.) Why Sappada?

Salzburg was super mellow & the perfect immersion into our trip. After that we went to Munich to pick up Joel’s buddy Dave & then to Innsbruck. He turned out to be a perfect addition to our group. At this point in our travels we really were peaking with excitement. Innsbruck just had a very cool vibe to it. The snowboarding was exciting. Austrian Alps perspective, good snow conditions, sunny, & powder just a little off the trail. Leaving Innsbruck you would have thought we were embarking on a life altering journey into the Italian Alps. We were stoked. We had a timeshare in a small Italian town awaiting us. It was supposedly close to some resorts & little bit of drive away from an Aspenesque ski town named Cortina. Crossing over the Italian border we immediately came into the foothills of the mountains & then not too much later we were driving through small towns on the cliffs of these mountains. All of us were fucking juiced at this point. The mountains were giant behemoths in comparison too what we were use to back home. They seemed to stretch out infinitely. I think we stopped in two small towns just to stop & look. I felt like a little kid on Christmas Eve awaiting Santa’s yearly delivery. There were numerous, “oh my gods” “Fuck!” “holy shit” & “Whoa” throughout the drive. I could literally feel the anticipation & build up.

Finally, we reach Sappada & eventually our timeshare after having a little bit of trouble finding it. We pull up & walk into the lobby. Two cute Italian girls are in the lobby & they greet us. It was a very warm welcome & they were quite genuine in their excitement of having us at the resort. We talk to them for a moment, inform them that we’re Californians, & we’re here to snowboard. One of the girls turns to us inquisitively & in a way that would turn out to foreshadow the rest of our stay in this new destination, “Why Sappada?!?”

We settle in thinking nothing of it. Upon first glance at the resort, & in hindsight, I now know that all of us were thinking the exact same thing, “well . . ok . . it’s practically free & we’re in the Italian Alps.” None of us share this with one another. We go to sleep. I share a bed with Joel (no homo). In the middle of the night both Joel & I wake up to the loudest sound of wood slapping wood I’ve ever heard (no homo). It literally sounded like we were in Dorothy’s house being swept away to OZ by a tornado. We both look at each other & say, “what the fuck?” I go back to sleep because I’m lazy as shit & can sleep through anything. Joel gets up to investigate. In the morning, I awake to everybody in the common room staring & laughing at the sound of the wind storm & scene of broken windows & splintered trees strung across our timeshare view. What wasn’t funny though was that we literally could see the snow being blown off the mountain with a weather forecast for no snow & warmer temps than we would have liked for the next week.

We decide to scope out Cortina which by the way turns out to not be a short drive away but a long hour through difficult roads pretty unsafe to drive at night. Just as we turn right to go onto the main road we immediately are stuck in a traffic stop. It was like God in amusement smirked & said, “um no you don’t.” I get out to scope out what’s going on. There are police stopping all the cars & putting up a road block. It turns out that there was a tree that toppled over on to the road & additionally the wind provided unsafe driving conditions for anyone trying to make there way down the pass. Alright, no biggie, we’ll just go grocery shopping & get a pastry & cappuccino. Besides it’s just gonna be an hour according to the police officer, right? Well that hour turned to 2 hours & 2 hours turned to 3. Eventually at 3:30PM we left for Cortina & left semi-bummed.

Cortina was cool but obviously expensive & same snow conditions. All the resorts were closed & it didn’t look good for the next day or even the next week really. Troy drove us back in the pitch black winding roads. Every once in awhile I would look over & giggle cause that fool looked like a meth head playing video games for hours on end as he was driving trying to avoid black ice & shitty road conditions.

Ok, so at this point, we’re all not stoked. To make matters worse we are really fucking tired of the timeshare resort & we’re starting to feel trapped. Plus some of the guys wanted to do some laundry in the onsite facilities. The administrative staff informed us that we could use the washer but the dryer is off limits & for staff only. What?!? Awesome! We can wash our clothes but we need to hang dry them in our already cold ass room. Word.

We decide that we’re gonna try & go snowboarding at one of the local resorts here in Sappada which would be the equivalent of a Boreal. We’re unsure how long we’ll be here in Sappada at this point. All of us at least want to say, “I snowboarded in Italy.” We get up early, get our shit on, & pack into the car. Drive up to the first resort, closed, no lifts working. God giggles yet again. We pull up to the second resort, closed also, no lifts open. Once again God amused remarks, “yeah no your not.” The shitty lift that was there definitely did not match the marketing which looked to be like a super high speed quad chair not the getch ass 30 year old double chair that actually existing. After seeing that we all in unison declared, “Let’s get the fuck out of here!” We drive back to the resort & start packing our shit. Meanwhile Troy is checking us out. He comes back up laughing hysterically which really scares the living shit out of me cause I wanted out & I felt another shoe about to drop. Once again we free God from boredom as Troy informs us that the office is closed until 4:00PM & we’re stuck there until then.

So we’re trapped yet again, which brought us full circle & gave us much needed clarity about why the young Italian girls asked us, “Why Sappada?!?”


Alby

Ponte Vecchio, Firenze.
Albe at the Duomo in Milano (which was just restored and cleaned)

Albe wanted to go through Verona onn our way to Firenze so he could buy some more shoes, and jackets since Milano was a shopping bust. So we left Milano and had the most amazing lunch in Verona. We got the lunch tip from the store owner where Albe dropped hella Euros. In my opinion it was the best meal thus far.

We arrived in Firenze last night and hooked up with Laura who is spending a year abroad. She showed us around town by walking the street of Firenze for four hours intterupted by good food and great gelato, and of course espresso.

Innsbruck
Innsbruck

Verona
Verona

Inssbruck

Innsbruck

Verona

Verona

This would have awesome with new snow, but with wind crusted ice, not so much. Still the view was stunning.

We did not have internet in Innsbruck or Sappada. We got our only day of snowboarding in Innsbruck. There was some fresh snow anf the views were stunning. We reluctantly left Innsbruck, for Sappada.
appada was beautiful but the snow was scarce, and the temps were well above freezing. The first night there there were very strong winds which knock down several trees, and closed the pass for the better art of the day. We were stuck in a very small town with little to do. We did finally get to Cortina, to find out the resorts were closed all day , and it did nt look good for the next day. With the nothing but high temps and sun in the weather forcast, we bailed on snowboarding, and Sappada.
This is why we chose Europe, if we got skinked by the weather, at least we would be in Italy.

So this is how we ended up in Verona, quite possibly my favorite Italian city.

A little something in a Salzburg Museum. Enough Said.


Salzburg.

From a church in Salzburg. I love the skull!
City street in Salzburg.
Church in Munich.
Our plan this morning was to go snowboarding in Kitzburg, but we got up late, missed our exit and ended up in Munich to meet up with Dave. Driving thru Munich with no map, we found the train station and Dave with out getting lost. We will head to Innsbruck tonight, and hopefully snowboard tomorrow.



We kinda drove thru a pedstrain only zone to find Dave in Munich, but it was OK because I was wearing a yellow vest which made look official.